Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Describing The World Series So Far

My friend Justin (@JustinSouthwell) tweeted last night: "Baseball = World's slowest rollercoaster"

Looking back at this world series, I fully agree with him.

I mean, this is ridiculous. If my doctor was in the room for any game, she'd hospitalize me for ridiculously high, neck vein bulging, face reddening blood pressure.

But I thought about Justin's tweet more and more, and I realized it matches a roller coaster perfectly... So I'll match it up with my favorite. The Titan.

The Build Up:
Clank clank clank clank, there goes the chain as we leave the station and start going up for the first drop. The suspense is building up. We beat the Ray's, this is going to be a sweet ride. We're struggling with the Tigers, this drop is going to be huge... I'm getting kind of nervous. I think I can see Fort Worth... Alright, we're at the top. Commence screams.

Game 1: The First Drop
Straight down. CJ pitches alright, gives up 3 runs in almost 6 innings, but Carpenter is even better and gives up 2. It's a kick in the gut, but we expected this drop to be there and be steep, so it's not that big of a deal. Oh, and don't forget the photo booth at the bottom, that's all of your Cardinals friends talking mess. We've got 6 games and a lot of roller coaster left though, breathe.

Game 2: Cruising Straight Up
On the Titan, you go underground, then shoot straight back up. That's just what happened in Game 2. We were at the bottom, then all of the sudden (in the 9th inning) we shot straight back up to almost as high as the first drop. Sweet.

Game 3: What? Another Drop?
This roller coaster is crazy. Not only is this drop even steeper, but it's sideways. Adding to the scary-ness (Is that a word?) of the drop. This is when Pujols hit a ball to the east side of Dallas, and then crushed two more as the Cardinals racked up 16 runs on Matt Harrison, who will be our Game 7 starter if it gets that far. Oh great.

Game 4: Corkscrew
The roller coaster then goes into a two-story corkscrew drop, and this is my favorite part. Yeah, it's a drop, but it's really fun. You try to stick your arms up but you're going so fast they get slung to the side. That's the best way to describe Holland's start, it's so good but so scary at the same time. This is the same guy who threw 10 straight balls in last year's world series when he came out of the bullpen, and he just shut down the Cardinals lineup (except for Berkman) for 8 1/3 inning? Wow. That was a sweet corkscrew.

Game 5: Power Brakes
The Cardinals scored first, just like when you're going about 50 miles an hour and stop on a dime towards the end of the ride. You're thinking it's the worst, but then you go into another corkscrew drop, this time slower. Alexi Ogando somehow escaping an inning, then Mike Napoli doing his best superman impression. Sweet.

Technically, this would be where you cruise into the station on the Titan, jump out of the car and simultaneously kiss the ground and thank God you lived, aka a celebration? Hopefully that isn't a jinx, but I'm only speaking about the Titan if you want to get down to it.

Also, don't forget that the 2011 World Champion Dallas Mavericks series did the exact same thing as the Rangers have done so far. Loss away, win away, loss at home, win at home, win at home, then they won away and danced on LeBron's kingly court.

Could the Rangers dance on Prince Pujols' lawn? I predicted Rangers in 6, but no one can seize momentum in this so you never know. But I'd like to think so.

One thing is for sure...

All trains checked, all seats cleared. Please keep your seat fastened at all times, and enjoy your ride on The Titan at Six Flags Over Texas.

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